Lately I have been having recurring dream about the world being invaded by aliens. The location is always different and the aliens are always different but somehow, someway this world gets taken over by space aliens in my dreams. Usually I am with a small group of people in a desperate search to rid the planet of these extraterrestrial menaces. Last night I was in a frantic search for clues on how to defeat these seemingly undefeatable creatures. Right before I awoke I was eating ice cream in my dream and gave some to an alien dog. Yes, the aliens had dogs. Don’t give me crap, it’s my dream! Anyway, I noticed that the dog went into what appeared to be a state of suspended animation. Eureka, I found a means of getting rid of the aliens!

What does it all mean? Since I have this dream quite often I got on line right away searching for clues to the meaning of this dream. I couldn’t really find anything directly relating to it but I thought I would use my own reasoning ability to decipher this dreams meaning. Invasion: I interpret this as a loss of control. This could be financial, emotional, etc. For me it would probably be financial with the whole job situation. My active involvement in the search I see as my continued effort to regain control of my life. The ice cream cure: I have not given up hope! OK, I am not a dream interpreter and my dream could be about my fear of real invading aliens. If you can do better drop me an e-mail on your thoughts about this creepy recurring dream. pauly@casperboo.com.

I just saw one of my favorite movies of all time “Glengarry Glen Ross” adapted from a play by David Mamet. I love watching shows like this with hard nosed street salesmen that will do anything to close the deal. Lie, steal, etc. it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that they are closing that deal. Gotta’ know your ABCs. Always Be Closing. There are other movies on par with “Glengarry Glen Ross” such as “The Boiler Room” with that little cutie Giovanni Rabisi and that hot stud muffin Vin Diesel! I saw a newer movie last night called “The Prime Gig” with Vince Vaughn (hot) and Ed Harris. Boy, I was depressed all night after seeing that one! I won’t give away the ending for anyone that wants to rent it. It’s worth it. But I love the fact that all of these people are basically con artists and scammers who prey on peoples emotions and greed to sucker them into buying some crap they don’t need. Now that, my friends is skill!

I think it is amazing for someone to call you out of the blue, talk to your for a few minutes and get you to give them a lot of MONEY! No, I’m not talking about these penny ante telemarketers that are like gnats for me to zap with my TeleZapper. No, the true con artists that can get into your head and touch you on some emotional level OVER THE PHONE. I’m always amazed when I watch shows like “Dateline” and “60 Minutes” and hear horror stories about little old ladies that gave their whole retirement to some STRANGER to invest for her only to find out that he was lying to her the entire time and there was no investment property called Buena Vista in the New Mexico Desert. Who would have thunk?! Loneliness mixed with greed must truly be a powerful ally for these con artists. God willing, I won’t be taken in by these bottom feeders. Not that they will get anything from me at this stage in the game. Gentlemen, the well is dry!

Hey gang! Have you noticed the hit counter on my site? It made it to a thousand hits today! Well, it’s not exactly 1000 real hits. I padded the count by 50 when I first started it at the beginning of the year. Oh, and many of the hits are my own because sometimes I can’t exclude my own visits. So doing some quick calculations the count is really about 900! Woo hoo!! Casperboo.com is over 950 hits in nine months! I’m going to have to do something to get the hit count up on my website. Some company websites get more than that in a day! I sold something on eBay last week and got over 130 hits in that small time.

Speaking of eBay I am scouring my house for stuff to post and sell on eBay. I figure why not. I’m not using this stuff and I can always use the cash. So, as I post items I will link to them from my website. Most of it will be computer related so if you are in the market for a DSL modem (I have three!) or an IDE Zip drive then have I got the goods for you! Stay tuned.

As many of you know it has been quite some times since I have had a real job. I have gone through ups and downs about the whole situation but I have an internal faith about this whole situation that everything will eventually work out for the better. I know there are some people out there who would have crossed over into serious depression and would probably be in counseling by now. I have come to the realization that I live on faith. I think that comes from twelve years of parochial school and growing up in the Thompson household. I remember distinctly as a child when BOTH of my parents were unemployed back in the 70s. I think everyone I knew was unemployed back then! And even though neither of them had a job you wouldn’t know it. Both of my parents were hard working people that had faith things would get better.

I am now reliving that 70s scenario. At the end of this month it will have been a year since I have had a full time job but I haven’t fallen into serious depression or taken up some vice. That is because I have faith that things will get better and I have my family to turn toward for support I didn’t realize how fortunate I was compared to some of my friends if the same fate befell them. Hell, my folks live about 7 minutes from me! I have made Sunday dinner at their place a ritual! Even though I feel that my dad doesn’t have a clue about a lot of things whenever I discuss a potential new job he ALWAYS says, “You will get it.” That’s the kind of faith he has. I love that about my dad. I think I love the fact that he has faith in me so I in turn can have faith in myself.

As you can see there have been some changes at my virtual home. Economics has forced me to get rid of my DSL provider, Earthlink which provided me with a whopping 10Mb of space to host my website. I have had to move into Tripod’s free space. That means advertisements. I don’t think it’s that bad AND I get 20Mb per account. I think we can all live with one measly ad banner. It could be worse. Just think about those pop up ads you get when you go to porn sites. Well, that’s what someone told me happened. Of course, I wouldn’t know anything about that. :-)

I have actually been having a little fun exploring what Tripod has to offer. I just created a message board for a free form forum! This could really be fun. This will give everyone a voice on Casperboo.com. So I am encouraging you to log into the message board and add your thoughts. God knows I’m running out of fresh ideas! Just click the link in the message board link at the bottom of my post or to the left in the menu bar. OMG, it’s almost 10am and I haven’t even had breakfast! It’s just like they say, time really flies when you are moving a website!

This weekend made me realize how boring I have become. I had brunch with a bunch of friends to celebrate Tami’s birthday and I got the distinct feeling that my conversation inevitably turns toward employment. I have become what I hate most, a gravity well of conversation. No other conversation can escape the massive pull of my topic. They all seem to be twisted in time and space and reshaped into the topic of my design, employment! Aagh!!! Poor, dear, adorable Lynn tried her best by coming to my side of the table and attempting a conversation rescue. But alas the poor darling doesn’t realize the true power that a conversation quantum singularity has. Even in her bold attempt she began by saying, “Tell me what’s been going on with you?”
“Nothing but looking for work.” I replied.
“Let’s talk about fun stuff!” her attempt at pulling out of the gravity well.
“There is no fun stuff.” I said,

Poor Lynn, should read up on the physics of conversation. Once a super massive conversationalist like myself goes supernova and sheds off all the topics they could possibly ever engage in there is a massive collapse and the conversation is just twisted and misshapen into the topic of the singularities choice. In my case it happens to by the very ugly and never fun topic of EMPLOYMENT! Save yourselves and stay clear of my event horizon!

I woke up this morning feeling like a three year old child always asking questions. Here are some of the questions that were on my mind as I watched George Bush address the U.N.
Question: When was the last time the UN took military action without the US prodding them along to live up to their own charter?
Question: Can G.W. Bush ever make a speech without mispronouncing words?
Question: Saudi Arabia has a TERRIBLE human rights record. Why the hell are we in bed with this fucked up country?
Question: Where the hell is Osama Bin Laden??
Question: Am I the only one that thinks Homeland security sounds like Big Brother?
Question: Since OPEC is against military action toward Iraq how would Americans react if gasoline prices doubled?
Question: Why is Saddam Hussein still the leader of Iraq 11 years after the Gulf War? Don’t we have CIA, Secret Service or something to take this Fu**er out?
Question: Has America forgotten the Enron debacle?
Question: Am I the only person in America that did NOT watch American Idol??

Well gang, along with the government jobs I have been applying for (so far there has only been one) I am also exploring the retail job market. I have applied to at several retail stores but I only want to work at one of the stores. There is only one retail store worth working at in Chicago and I am sure you all know which one it is. You know the place where you can get everything from Dorritos and Taco Bell to Todd Oldham and Massimo. I’m talking Target, baby! Yes, the classier rival to Wal-Mart. I have loved shopping at Target ever since I lived in California some 13 years ago. I think it’s the red and white target logo that hypnotizes me into shopping there. Sometimes I like to just roam the fluorescent lit aisles and watch all of the gay couples who shop there. Oh, didn’t you know? Tons of gay boys shop at Target.

The other place I wouldn’t mind working is MicroCenter. If you aren’t familiar with that place then just think of it as Disney Land for computer geeks. After a few months of working in that place my apartment would be filled with useless computer junk that I don’t need. Now that I think about it my apartment is already filled with useless computer junk that I don’t need! Personally I think it would be kind of fun to have a part time retail job again. I could get out of this apartment and meet all kinds of new people. I can’t wait to meet those people that always bitch and complain at retail stores. I have already started practicing my line. “Would you like me to get a manager?”

Gang, the times, they are a getting desperate. Yes, I have sunk to the bottom of the job pool barrel. I just applied for a GOVERNMENT JOB!!! I know, I know. How did I end up in this situation with all of my knowledge, abilities and promise? How could I ever be happy in the bastion of apathy, complacency and non-competitiveness? I’m talking paycheck, baby! The government pays on time every time! Yes, I actually applied for a federal job working with the Marine Corps recruiting stations in Chicago. It took me three hours to understand exactly what the job entailed and another three hours to put the application together. I shit you not, it was a task. The job posting was 10 pages long!

The irony is you need a PhD to understand the application but only a HS diploma and a little experience to do the job. Here is my challenge to you. I want you to read the following paragraph and put it into everyday language.

SPECIALIZED EXPERIENCE: One year of experience that has equipped the applicant with the particular knowledge, skills, and abilities (KSAs) to perform successfully the duties of the position, and that is typically in or related to the work of this position. Experience for the GS-7 level, would include such tasks as translating detailed logical steps developed by others into language codes that computers accept where this required understanding of procedures and limitations appropriate to use of a programming language. Interviewing subject-matter personnel to get facts regarding work processes, and synthesizing the resulting data into charts showing information flow. Operating computer consoles where this involved choosing from among various procedures in responding to machine commands or unscheduled halts. Scheduling the sequence of programs to be processed by computer where alternative had to be weighted with a view to production efficiency. Preparing documentation on cost/benefit studies where this involved summarizing the material and organizing it in a logical fashion. Experience for the GS-9 level, would include experience that demonstrated knowledge of computer requirements and techniques in carrying out project assignments consisting of several related tasks, such as typically is the case in development of minor modifications to parts of a system on the basis of detailed specifications provided.

As many of you know I spend very little time in the bars. I think it is amazing that the bartenders know my name and my drink as soon as I walk in the establishment! Anyway, I was out with my friends Rob and Oscar on Sunday. Since Monday was a holiday it was time to shake our asses! Unfortunately, there was no ass shaking at Roscoe’s or Sidetracks. Both places were packed to the gills with unattractive out-of-towners. It was hot, we were getting pushed around by rude people and the music was bad. We were all ready to pack it up and head home before we stepped into Cocktail. It was like Shangri-La in there. Air conditioned, a little crowded but the most important thing, we found seats! Oh, did I mention that they had strippers? Rob was tired and ended up going home but Oscar and I were troopers and continued on to the usual stomping ground.

Monday was family day. Went over to the folks and indulged in the usual holiday fare of barbecue, baked beans and beer. An explosive combination. I was pleasantly surprised when I saw my stepmother home. She was supposed to be in Mississippi for another day but she surprised everyone and came home a day early. My dad was his usual tipsy self. After he finished barbecuing he started drinking Margaritas. Margaritas!? He never drinks those things! So he is sitting there drinking Margaritas and making absolutely no sense. The only thing I understood from him was when he wanted me to turn up the volume on the radio. I think it is perpetually tuned to his favorite station, WNUA. Yes, the “light jazz” station. It’s just freaky to watch how his eyes light up when a Kenny G tune comes on. FREAKY! Regardless of that a good time was had by all. I think there will be a family outing to Chain of Lakes in the very near future. Ms. Ruthie desperately wants to go fishing before the end of the season.