Gang, the times, they are a getting desperate. Yes, I have sunk to the bottom of the job pool barrel. I just applied for a GOVERNMENT JOB!!! I know, I know. How did I end up in this situation with all of my knowledge, abilities and promise? How could I ever be happy in the bastion of apathy, complacency and non-competitiveness? I’m talking paycheck, baby! The government pays on time every time! Yes, I actually applied for a federal job working with the Marine Corps recruiting stations in Chicago. It took me three hours to understand exactly what the job entailed and another three hours to put the application together. I shit you not, it was a task. The job posting was 10 pages long!

The irony is you need a PhD to understand the application but only a HS diploma and a little experience to do the job. Here is my challenge to you. I want you to read the following paragraph and put it into everyday language.

SPECIALIZED EXPERIENCE: One year of experience that has equipped the applicant with the particular knowledge, skills, and abilities (KSAs) to perform successfully the duties of the position, and that is typically in or related to the work of this position. Experience for the GS-7 level, would include such tasks as translating detailed logical steps developed by others into language codes that computers accept where this required understanding of procedures and limitations appropriate to use of a programming language. Interviewing subject-matter personnel to get facts regarding work processes, and synthesizing the resulting data into charts showing information flow. Operating computer consoles where this involved choosing from among various procedures in responding to machine commands or unscheduled halts. Scheduling the sequence of programs to be processed by computer where alternative had to be weighted with a view to production efficiency. Preparing documentation on cost/benefit studies where this involved summarizing the material and organizing it in a logical fashion. Experience for the GS-9 level, would include experience that demonstrated knowledge of computer requirements and techniques in carrying out project assignments consisting of several related tasks, such as typically is the case in development of minor modifications to parts of a system on the basis of detailed specifications provided.