Like the White Rabbit...

One of the things I'm pretty anal about is punctuality.  If I need to be at the theatre, a concert or any event which starts at a given time I try my darnedest to be there on time.  This was instilled in me as a youngster by my parents who were notoriously punctual.  My mother would often get mad when she had to wait on people.  One of my cousins was always late and my mother's line was, "That woman is going to be late for her own funeral!" or "She must be on CPT!"  That's Colored People's Time for the rest of you.  Even as an adult the pain of punctuality still reverberates.  I distinctly remember a few years ago when I was going to ride to Arkansas with my family.  My dad said that they would be leaving at 7:30 AM.  I was about 5 minutes late and can you believe they were pulling out of the driveway?!  I was upset at the time but when you put things in perspective, we were going to Pine Bluff, Arkansas.  The fun capital of the South.  I should have let them drive off!

 

Now you know all about me but there's another side to the equation.  That person who is perpetually late.  You know who I'm talking about!  Recently a good friend (who I shall name Bertha) and I needed to be at the theater for a 7:30 PM curtain which we were originally told was 8:00 PM.  We were at dinner when we received this news.  With that info I began shoveling the food down my throat and ran the time calculations in my head like an old pro, "If we leave by 7PM we can be downtown by 7:20PM, etc., etc."  However my friend was not phased one bit.  She kept saying that we had plenty of time and if we left now we would just be standing around.  I was finished eating and had put on my coat, hat and scarf but my dear friend Bertha is calm as a cucumber while she finishes her Daiquiri.  I tried to remain calm but inside I was about to hyperventilate!  I always knew Bertha was late for everything but now I know why.  The woman doesn't have the same sense of urgency that I do.  She was not traumatized as a child the way I was.  She didn't have six years of military indoctrination they way I had.  So she had NO PROBLEM sitting there sipping that damn daiquiri while I was about to lose it.  But we finally left per my suggested time and arrived ON TIME with a couple of minutes to spare.  To the Berthas of the world; It's time to get rid of that damn CPT watch you've been using and buy a Timex!