I’m a typing, filing, sorting, mail merging, administrative assistant machine! I don’t mind the filing and typing stuff but God save me from a board meeting. This should actually be called a bored meeting. Honeys, I’ve been to my share of meetings and feel that I am no stranger to those high powered muckety mucks who believe their erudition is best expressed through their own palaverous nature. See, it doesn’t even sound right when I type it. Basically it means people who talk too damn much but don’t say shit! I had the dubious pleasure of sitting in on one of these board meetings. Due to the confidential nature of the meeting I can not divulge what it was about but I can tell you it takes a lot of people to be indecisive!

Just when you think a decision is going to be made and the agenda will FINALLY start moving again some yahoo who wants their opinion heard (probably because their husband or wife doesn’t listen to them at home) has to pipe up and insert their two cents which is actually worth the price of a tin slug. After several motions, counter motions and additions to counter motions we finally got out of there some 4 ½ hour later. I shit you not! I was stuck in this cross continental verbal parlay for FOUR AND A HALF FUCKING HOURS!!!! Since I am a lowly staff member who is merely there to facilitate I do not have a voice in these meetings. It’s a good thing I can’t speak. I can’t even count how many times I wanted to un-mute the speakerphone and say, “What the fuck are you talking about you stupid bitch?! You’ve been talking for five minutes and haven’t said shit!!!” Then I would be fired and we just can’t have that.